And it’s bad again
I’m sad again
I’ve got strings coming
Out of my abdomen
stop pulling at them.
Ask a writer
what moving on
It is not
a silent revenge
It does not feel like
It feels like
Changing the container
To better fit your emptiness;
To make it look more full.
Is that narcissistic?
The answer is yes.
I’m a self centered bastard
And I would relive every moment of my life if I could, and I would I laugh for a couple hundred years and cry for a thousand
Because oddly enough, I love to cry.
I’m an addict when it comes to emotions.
I love to feel things.
If we end up getting put in the same group I will totally be that 5 year old that cries and pulls the “but she’s gross and mean” thing and ask for a new seat.
I’m sorry I really am, I’m not one to hold a grudge, but her voice makes me cringe.
I hate how bitchy this probably sounds but I’m not going to cover it up with fricking flowers and pretend that I’m always a nice person 100% of the time.
I’m just really happy, for no reason at all and I just think I need to soak that feeling up and let it absorb for a while.
It’s going to be a great year.
Like focusing my energy into things like creating the yearbook, applying for college, getting my license, having money to actually spend, actually having real friends, doing things I’ve always wanted to do, I don’t know. There was a point when I really just generally was not happy with how my life was going and right now I feel like I’m a straight shot away from where I want to be in life. At first senior year was freaking me out because there was still so much to do and I didn’t think it would get done but now I’m just so ready and I feel like everything is coming together the way it should.
I wish people would just step back for a while and just take the time to work on themselves because it works I promise it really works.
Side note: this girl I used to dance with’s mom passed away from cancer the other night so ill be going to her funeral on Tuesday, I haven’t seen her in so long. My heart always breaks for people in situations like that. Thursday I’m getting a much needed hair cut and hopefully Friday Im going to get a new permit because I lost mine, and finally sign up for my driving test.
Not that anyone cares, I’m rambling.
I know I’ve been to prom already and everything but it make me sad thinking I probably won’t have a date this year. I just don’t see it happening. I’ve never been asked to homecoming so I doubt ill be asked to prom ill probably have to find a pity date and I’ve never really pictured my senior prom like that but at the same time I don’t think I put much thought into it at all.
You would probably have a chance if you just came off anonymous, this secretive stuff isn’t doing much good,
Also I know you live in Spring,
Which is like, a million more reasons you should come off anonymous
There will be times when I won’t answer the phone
Because every time it rings I cant stop thinking
about the rings around trees,
about the rings around our bodies,
How I wish I was Saturn
But the closest I will get is by balancing hula hoops on my hips
I’ve got scars in every place you’ve touched with your lips,
Sometimes you will kiss someone and it will sting
like the hydrogen peroxide on your baby brothers scabby knees
As kids we wore our scars like merit badges,
Compared them with our friends
But now a days,
We conceal them in our Michael Khors handbags,
We keep them in between the spaces of our bleached teeth
Cut me open and you will see
I’ve got scars on the inside
like the rings around trees,
Don’t be afraid to admit
you’ve got more than just scabby knees
I’m just really sad yo.
Everyone is gone.